Squandering Time

The holidays are over; a new year is here again, but I’ve found myself dwelling on the past few weeks with a variety of emotions. Last year was incredible, and it’s hard to believe how fast it went by….who doesn’t say that? Really though; Bob graduated, we got married, explored Greece, moved to Minnesota, and Bob started his career. But this year, the holidays put a bittersweet taste in my mouth. The realization that my sister Leila and her family would be moving to Hawaii in a few weeks hit hard; it would be our last Christmas together for an unknown amount of time. It’s been especially hard since my brother Joel also moved there in 2014, which means it will only be my sister Shawna and I left in Midwest.

On Christmas Eve, things became more troublesome when my dad had a TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack), also known as a warning stroke. My whole family reacted quickly, and the police and an ambulance arrived within a few minutes of our call; which I am very grateful for. We were all unsettled after my dad was taken to the hospital, but fortunately he was well enough to go home with my mom the next morning.  I’m still feeling disconcerted about the whole incident; not just my dad suffering a serious health complication, but my sister leaving, and my brother who has already moved, which makes me feel like my family is dissipating. We never know how much time we have left together, whether we’re near or far apart.

All of this makes me cherish the time I have spent, and will spend with those I love, immensely. I can’t change what has happened or what is to come, but what I can do is voice my love, show my appreciation, and spend time with the people I care about before there’s nothing left but unspoken words, and regrets. With that said, this year I’m going to make it a point to call those I love more, as well as invite them over, or out to do something. I want to ask more questions, and be understood; so I’ll explain myself clearly. If I don’t like something, I’ll say it, if I like something I’ll let it be known. And if I want something, I won’t just ask for it, but I’ll do what it takes to get it.  I have misused so much time and it’s something I can’t stand to squander anymore. So, here’s my first post, we’ll see what else I come up with….hopefully some chapters to my novel.